when you are low – get ice cream

When feeling low you are either:

A. lying on the ground- thus in this instance the solution though it may be difficult is quite simple. Place palms and the flat part of your foot firmly on the ground, then slowly push up gradually until you are in a full and upright position. However if you can not get up I suggest asking a very kind friend to bring you a bowl of Ice cream

B. Sad- in this case there are a number of solutions each depending on the cause of the sadness.

1. Didn’t do well on a test- the fix to this is the obvious ICE CREAM! doesn’t matter what kind it is as long as it is a big hearty bowl.

2. Friends didn’t invite you somewhere – ICE CREAM

3. Broke up with your significant other- ICE CREAM, venting session with good friends who know you are just upset and then more ICE CREAM

4. it’s just one of those days- 2 bowls of ICE CREAM and a great movie 🙂

C. You are just not in the place you want to be in life, your grades, friends, job, and your faith walk. First get Ice Cream! Then make a list of all the things you want to do or should do in order to get where you want to be. Then congratulate yourself with more ICE CREAM.

 

You may find this silly and in fact it kind of is but lets face it Ice cream is perhaps one of the best inventions of all time and it wouldn’t be called that if it really didn’t help in every single one of these situations. so good luck, you are over half way done with the semester, and I hope you will always have ice cream close and on hand.

It’s like he’s speaking another language!

I know it has been a while since the last post but it has come to my attention that when it comes to communication between the opposite genders things can become… confusing.

Have you ever seen “He’s just not that in to you”? If not go and watch it! Besides that fact that it isn’t Christian and talks about sex a lot it is a great movie and sheds, in my mind a lot of truth on why communication breaks down between the genders.

Number one area in which communication is misinterpreted between genders is in the intention to seek more than attention, catch my drift? Men and Women go about this in very different ways, and there are even different dialects among those so one might be able to understand why this is confusing. Now I can not give you a play by play of what it looks like when one might be seeking connection but I can definitely tell you what it often is, what it is not, and what you should definitely run from.

What it often is: When some one specifically asks you out on a DATE, not coffee, not a run, not study, but a date that usually would incline someone to think that the person is interested. One area that has become foggy is when someone asks you out for coffee or to play a game or something. Very innocent right? Normally yes. People want to know immediately the intention of the other person and I will tell you that most of the time girls, guys do not know! So take it as a time to hang out, get to know one another but don’t jump on the “he wants to go steady” train the moment he asks you out for coffee, wait for a real date offer. Also Calvin walks a are dime a dozen don’t read to much in to one, but after about five, I think you can ask some questions, especially if they go for the hand hold.

What it is not: It is not your study buddy who calls your for help, it is not your close friend who asks you to hang out, and it is not someone who is obviously interested in someone else! So often it is obvious that a guy likes a girl, they are not to sneaky and nor are the girls. Here is when the movie “He’s just not that in to you” comes in really handy. A person is not in to you if: they ignore you, stand you up, go out with someone else ect. These are tell tale signs that the person, coffee or not is just not looking for more than attention.

RUN: What you should run from? I think if we all think about these it is obvious right? But to so many of our friends it seems like it is not, am I right? Run from someone who only calls you to their room, this is a booty call and yes it happens at calvin. Run from someone who stalks you, it’s not cute?! Overly possessive is not cool, I know that Edward Cullen was but I mean look what happened to his girl friend… she became a vampire! It’s not healthy and it’s draining, so get out. Run from some one who doesn’t give you the time of day. They may have been sweet once, they may take you on a date every once in a great while but if their video games or shopping sprees are more important than your time… get out.

These may all seem far to obvious but I think we can all agree that we or a dear friend of ours has fallen prey to one of these cunning traps or ideas so here they are, spelled out in black and white to read and look back on. Remember you are worth it, you’re worth the wait and the time, don’t forget it.

Quest quote “you could meet your future spouse”

Just what everyone wants to hear the moment you walk on to the college campus, full of fear and hormones, “any moment you could meet your future spouse”. Now this is true but this is true at any point in your life so chill out. People get all caught up with finding someone when they get to college at Calvin we call this “Freshman Frenzy”. Laugh all you want but it’s true, if you are an upper class you have witnessed this. Being a previous OL leader it was always fun to watch as the students in your group would scope each other out. Everyone denies it, they deny they are looking, interested and even deny flirting. Almost every single one of those that deny it, are doing it. Let’s be honest with ourselves for a second, yeah? Ok now you see the error of your ways. So during this time of club sign ups, classes, late night hang outs and mixers I have two forms of advice for those of you in a frenzy over finding your future spouse.

1. For those of you with a calm head on your shoulders take a deep breath and step back. Don’t go off your rocker and start dreaming of your wedding or making out with every good looking person you see on the path (believe me at Calvin I know there are a lot of them). If you go on a date, please do not ask your self if this could be the one! Just have fun, seriously. Breath, relax and enjoy the fact that you have four years to get to know some amazing people. But guess what if you don’t meet your spouse it is not the end of the world. There are about 7 billion people on this earth, if God wants you with someone you will be with someone so relax.

2. for those of you that can’t help yourselves this is my advice, go big! Meet as many people as possible, day dream your heart out but do not become a stalker. Ask the girl in your psych class out on a date, better yet go on a Calvin walk, or ten! Girls if a guy asks you out GO! worst comes to worst he’s weird you have a bad date but have a great story later. I mean come on aren’t those the best ones anyway? This is the time when you aren’t studying for crazy finals, entrance exams, looking for jobs or working on senior thesis’s so have fun now.  This advice must come with a caution: I am not encouraging you to be a dog or someone who is insincere. I am not advising you to ask out every single person you see I am simply saying don’t deny that you want to and don’t be afraid to.

For both of you the point is to have fun and relax, if that means holding out and just enjoying your time without the complications of dating then do that. But if you are someone who loves to date, meet people and that is fun to you, then do that. Don’t over think what you do, in college there is way to much stuff you have to be thinking about so don’t let the prospect of “meeting your future spouse” occupy to much of your mind. So have fun! You have a plethora of options in front you so enjoy, sample, dabble, even linger for a while but most important have fun!

This is just the beginning

Many people come in to the school year with a mess of emotions. Excitement for friends, nerves for class, anxieties about relationships, and hopes for the coming semester. Whenever a new semester starts so does my list of things I want to do. I want to pick apples, go to cedar point, make these 10 pinterest crafts, make new friends, get all A’s, go to the beach, find more time for God, make a conscious effort to see these 10 people every week, and the list goes on. So I ask you, what if I can’t get all of that done? What if I fall drastically short and only get B+’s! What if I don’t make many new friends, what if I don’t get invited to this party or get in to this club? What if?

The What if question is an old one with the easy answer of do not worry. I could tell you even in the Bible (Matthew 6) where Jesus tells us, “do not worry”. But that is hard and sometimes just adds more to our list than really taking anything off. I understand this, I am a planner, like to have everything worked out ahead of time, and I am an over achiever which means I have exceedingly high standards for myself. This all combines in to someone who worries about all of the questions above, and has put me into contact with a lot of people that struggle with the same thing. So here is what I have learned about the What if’s of a new semester:

1. Take your time. Rome was not built in a day and neither will you have all the new friends and memberships in all the clubs you want to be in, in the first week of class. Everything in life takes time and investment. Pick a few things that you know you want to invest in and first invest in those. If you realize you have more heart and time to invest than by all means go after another thing, but don’t think you have to do it all right now.

2. Enjoy what is in font of you. All too often we become preoccupied with wanting what she or he has, the grades, friends, even the activities and abilities and we miss out on what God is giving us now. When you realize a friend is spending more time with someone else, before you get upset look at who you are spending your time with. I am sure you that you have someone too. Don’t disregard the blessings God is giving you too.

3. Realize the season of your life. This is a season that looks so different for so many people. And our society tells us it should be so many different things as well. Ask God to show you what he wants you to invest in right now. Each season of life has you investing in something different, gives you time for different things. So I am sure at some point in your life (if you want to) you will go to cedar point, pick apples, go to the beach, make new friends, invest in a sport, get the grades you want and more because if you focus on your season and wait patiently for each one, you will enjoy and fill each on to the fullest.

There is no right answer but I hope this helps. If you have more questions or comments please put them here.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peach as you trust in Him, So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13